Approval-Seeking from Nice Guy Syndrome
Nice Guys need approval. They change their behavior to please. They avoid conflict. They hide their true preferences. They need external validation to feel okay. Dr. Glover identifies approval-seeking as a core Nice Guy pattern. This guide covers self-validation vs. approval-seeking and practical exercises to break the cycle.
- Approval-seeking is exhausting; self-validation is sustainable
- Toxic shame drives approval-seeking
- Practice: express opinions, tolerate disapproval
Approval-Seeking vs. Self-Validation
Approval-seeking: worth depends on others' opinions. You change behavior to please. You need external validation. Self-validation: worth comes from within. You express preferences. You're fine with some people not liking you. The shift: stop needing approval to feel okay.
Practical Exercises
Express one opinion per day that might disagree. Do something that might draw disapproval. Notice the discomfort. Sit with it. It passes. ConfidenceConnect's thought records challenge approval-seeking beliefs.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How do I stop approval-seeking?
- Practice self-validation. Express opinions. Tolerate disapproval. Your worth doesn't depend on others' approval. ConfidenceConnect provides thought records and boundary-setting practice to build this muscle.
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From the Blog
- How to Stop Seeking Approval: The Nice Guy's Guide to Self-Validation
Overcome approval-seeking with Dr. Glover's framework. Self-validation vs. external validation, practical exercises, and breaking the people-pleasing cycle.
- People Pleasing Recovery: Breaking the Compulsion to Make Everyone Happy
Overcome people pleasing with Dr. Glover's framework. Why Nice Guys people-please, the costs, and practical steps to break the cycle.