Cognitive Distortions in Dating
Certain thought patterns make dating anxiety worse. Mind reading (assuming you know what she thinks), catastrophizing (jumping to the worst case), all-or-nothing (one mistake means total failure), and overgeneralization (a few rejections mean always) are common. Research on anxiety shows that catching these patterns and checking them against the facts reduces their power. This hub covers the main distortions and how to reframe them.
Articles in This Topic
Catastrophizing in Dating | When Your Brain Jumps to the Worst Case
If she rejects me I'll be humiliated. Learn to spot catastrophizing and ask: what's the worst realistic outcome? How have I coped before?
Mind Reading in Dating | When You Assume You Know What She Thinks
She thinks I'm creepy. She's not interested. Learn to spot mind reading and ask: what evidence do I have? What other explanations are there?
All-or-Nothing Thinking in Dating | When One Mistake Feels Like Total Failure
If I stutter the date is ruined. Learn to spot all-or-nothing thinking and find the shades of gray. Perfection isn't required.
Overgeneralization in Dating | When a Few Rejections Become 'Always'
The last three women rejected me so I'll always be rejected. How to spot overgeneralization and get back to the facts. Sample size matters.
Fortune Telling in Dating | When You Predict the Worst
This conversation will be awkward and she won't want a second date. How to spot fortune telling and focus on the present instead of predicting disaster.
Personalization in Dating | When You Assume Everything Is About You
She's on her phone. You decide you're boring. How to spot personalization and consider other explanations so you don't spiral.
Emotional Reasoning in Dating | When Feelings Become Facts
I feel inadequate, therefore I am. How to spot emotional reasoning and check feelings against the facts so anxiety doesn't run the show.
The Comparison Trap in Dating | Other Guys Are Taller, Richer, Funnier
Why would she choose me when other guys have more? How to spot the comparison trap and focus on your own strengths instead of measuring against others.