What is a covert contract?

An unspoken expectation: you do something for someone expecting something back without stating it. When they don't reciprocate, you feel hurt or resentful.

Covert Contract Identifier for Relationships

Covert contracts are unspoken deals: "I'll do X for you and you'll do Y for me" but you never say it. When the other person doesn't hold up their end, you feel resentful. Dr. Robert Glover describes these in No More Mr. Nice Guy. This tool lets you pick a relationship (partner, friend, work, family), what you give, and what you expect in return. We reflect it back as a sentence and suggest a reframe: usually, name the contract out loud and see if the other person agrees or you can accept the reality. Use the ConfidenceConnect app to map more contracts and work through Breaking Free exercises.

Identify one covert contract

Pick a relationship, what you give, and what you expect in return (without saying it). We'll reflect it back and suggest a next step.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What is a covert contract?: An unspoken expectation: you do something for someone expecting something back without stating it. When they don't reciprocate, you feel hurt or resentful.