Covert Contract Identifier (Nice Guy)
Nice Guys often make covert contracts: I'll be helpful, agreeable, and problem-free, and you'll love me, want me, or stay. When the other person doesn't fulfill the unspoken deal, resentment builds. This identifier helps you name one contract (pick what you give and what you expect) and see it in a sentence. Then we suggest a reframe: make it explicit or accept that they can't read your mind. Breaking free means replacing covert contracts with honest communication. The app has more exercises.
Identify one covert contract
Pick a relationship, what you give, and what you expect in return (without saying it). We'll reflect it back and suggest a next step.
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Frequently Asked Questions
- Why do Nice Guys make covert contracts?
- Often from a fear that stating needs will lead to rejection. So they give and hope. Making contracts explicit feels risky but is the only way to get real agreement or clarity.